Good old Gillian was on again tonight. It amuses me that her photo's on some of her books etc. must have been taken when she was still in knee socks. I agree with her basic views that we all need to drop the junk and eat more fruit and vegetables but her TV programmes are becoming more and more staged. On tonight's episode she had an ambulance with a patient inside that was constructed from pork pies and later she "stormed" into a church to harangue the vicar.
She has stopped calling herself a "Doctor" since it was revealed where some of her qualifications came from and someone even got one in the name of a cat. I bought one of her cereal bars once and was shocked at the calorie and sugar content. Anyway, this article by Deborah Ross is very funny and includes such gems as
DEAR DOCTOR: I am a Nobel prize-winning physicist, a concert pianist, an Olympic swimmer, a world champion ice-dancer, a tireless charity worker and an exemplary spouse, parent and pet owner. However, I do have a weakness for chips. Can I feel proud of myself in anyway whatsoever?
I am horrified at the way you live your life. What are you playing at? Such accomplishments count for nothing considering you are on your way to an early grave. Idiot!
And
DEAR DOCTOR: I tried your Chinese mushroom, Tibetan fingle berry and Venezuelan yongy-yongi fruit smoothie the other morning for breakfast, and guess what? It made me sick! I was pretty miffed as it took me eight years and God knows what in travel costs to personally collect the ingredients. I even sprinkled the smoothie with the blue-green algae collected by big-breasted women at low tide during a full moon, as you suggested. I wish, now, that I'd just had a bowl of Special K. Help!
OH, GO away. I don't have the time for this. Tibbles and I have some more disgusting and impossible smoothie recipes to devise before setting up a website selling unproven nonsense to a gullible public. So shove off.
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